To Musicians.

Well, I'm back.
Cal will follow in due time, I'm sure, but for now, here's my most recent blog post. Lol.

I know it's been a long time, but it's like, me and cal that read this blog so I'm sure nobody was truly affected by that.

So; here we are.

I'd like to extend a greeting to musicians who aren't reading this blog. Well done to you for taking the initiative. Although you may not be as commercially successful as bands like Metro Station, be thankful you're not as shite. First off - the key thing to do is to write your own stuff. Never spend too long covering Master Of Puppets or you'll run out of patience for music. Trust me on this, the best way to do it is to write your own music before you're in a band. That way you've at least got stuff to start on as soon as you join a band.

Next up - Never, ever sing with an accent. That shit is getting old pretty quickly and I can't see any bands coming out now with an accent that would be tagged as the most original band on the scene. Secondly, find a singer who sings with passion. For metal bands this is easy - particularly if you've got screaming going on, it's not particularly difficult to hear screams that aren't angry. For everyone else, it's a matter of having a very good range and being able to hold a note (even if it wobbles) for ages.
Musically, don't be too fussy. And you don't have to be god's gift to guitar to make good music. As long as you have a few basic techniques under your belt and you can write good, catchy music it doesn't matter. Get a good bassist though, not enough bands have amazing bassists these days.
If you're in a metal band, never be afraid to be funny. In your 16 minute thrash odyssey, don't be afraid to throw in the occasional acoustic bluegrass section - it keeps your listeners keen, it's entertaining, and it gets fans in unusual places.

Take every opportunity you can to get your band heard. Even if it's a competition on blue peter, just send in a CD or whatever and get the attention. Take any possible gig, even if it's at your youth club. Fanbases always start among friends. Contact other bands in your area to see what's happening gig-wise, and even try to support them on gigs that they perform.

And guys this is the most important thing:

never sell out. seriously.

Dream Theater- Black Clouds & Silver Linings

2009

Dream Theater's new album, Black Clouds and Silver Linings, was officially announced with the release of "A Rite Of Passage", a song, which quite frankly I didn't like at all. Nonetheless, I decided to humour it and give it another shot. I was proven wrong and the song made me happy. And so I heard about their album being leaked online. Although I intend to buy the album, I couldn't resist downloading it.
My first impressions:
A masterpiece.
Dream Theater's finest hour.
This being the band's 10th studio album, the Prog Rock group have gone all out for this. Strings, synths, you name it, they've got it. Brilliant album so far, "Wither" was a very powerful, serene track with a November Rain style solo amidst the powerful vocal performance of James LaBrie.
The Shattered Fortress provides a powerhouse metal track, starting much akin to Metallica's "Shortest Straw" from the album "...And Justice For All".

This album is metal as it should be:
Produced, Long, And Awesome.

The intrawebz

I know it's been far far too long since I last posted, but such is life when your revising for the harest exams in the world.

To be honest, I'm just quickly nipping in here between revising, so I'm not going to say much. Instead I'm gonna give you a few videos that everyone should see on the internet. Enjoy.

Five Thousand Indians Being Blind

Couldn't think of a title.
So I wrote the potential title of one of Scrooge Flu's interludes :)

I'm not really sure what I'm gonna waffle on about today, so I'm going to tell you about my week, I guess.

Started off well, I got up to a lovely sunny day on monday at about 10:30.
That's right, I'm on STUDY LEAVE bitchezzzzz.

So anyway. I got up, had some Frosties and apple juice, then did a touch of revising then got up and walked, in the lovely sun all the way to the Centra in front of school. I bought some Orange Sukie at the shop and continued to walk, behind some upper sixth girls in plain clothes. Which was cool.
So I sat down in the exam room. The air conditioning was working nicely, couldn't complain about anything.
I sat the Journalism at 1314, quarter of an hour earlier than intended. An hour later I walked out of the exam happy as could be. Patrick Lecky, a cohort of mine, and myself, dandered down to the metropolis they call Antrim. I took him to see the sights, such famous areas as the park. Then I went home and I think I probably went on the laptop. I spent tuesday on the laptop, and I spent wednesday at Starbucks, "Revising" my R.E.
Turns out I can't write that much about my week :)
So today, I revised, watched a couple of films. My mum got home and we went swimming, after all I'm getting fit. 10 Press ups on Wii Fit every day and that :)
Then we got home, and I watched Lie To Me, starring Tim Roth, which is like one of the coolest programs I've EVER seen.
Wow.
Check it out, please :)

Matt out. (I forgot to add that to my last couple of posts D=)

Rescue

So it's left to me to rescue this blog and pray to God that people don't read that below and assume we're all so retarded (Matthew you know I love you this much) But I can't, nay I won't, let you reduce this blog to a place of ramblings!

So me and Scott were wondering earlier, while watching All The Guys Love Mandy Lane -which is fucking awesome might I add- why Tesco's Kick energy drink is fucking cheap. Like come on. You can get like 2 litres for just over £1; that's cheaper than most bottled water. What the Hell is in it that it can be cheaper than water, which is free! I'm a little worried about it cause me and Scott drink on average about 3 litres a week coupled with about 10 litres of BPM, I really am suprised we're not diabetic yet. I'm actually drinking another litre bottle as I write this.

Not really much new to report on. Got my exams in exactly 1 week and 2 days, and I have done next to no revision. If anyone out there knows a way to cram an entire first year of Biomedical Science into my head over night, I can promise to pay you; In litres and litres of Kick.

Once Upon A Time In The Folly (Full Version)

Prepare yourself for literary genius.




Connor Artemius Favid Blair was angry. His state of inebriation had begun to fade off, after all it'd been a month since he'd had a sip of the drink.
"Givvus a quid for a drink" He murmured at me, peeing in his pants.
"'Ere maattteee, I dunno whit wurld yoor frawm, bit whair I come frum, drink's quite costy." I shouted at him, quite racistly.
As he started to cry, I took out a cheeseburger I'd been saving for a special occasion. His tears dried up instantly as he clapped his eyeballs onto the cheeseburger, which must've hurt a little bit.
He was about to "proppa lay in", as they say, to the cheeseburger, which he had affectionately named Gary. As he opened his human sized mouth, the cheeseburger vanished, into thin air.
"IS THIS MAGIC? DID I EAT THE CHEESEBURGER?" He demanded, tears streaming from his eyes once again.
"Naw pallll, some eejit's tekin it fram us" I kicked him. Connor spewed.
We began to give chase to the thief, but with no luck, as we didn't see him or have any idea where he was now. One assumption we made, that turned out to be most successful, was that he was indeed a he. As we thought, we decided to check the boy's toilets in the antrim forum, the fortress of our enemy. As we arrived safely, we saw the thief.
Part 2
Connor Blair stood over the fallen corpse of leper boy, his sworn enemy."I may have won the battle, but I have also won the war" Connor laughed"Not so fast" Howled the angry voice of Connor's ma, to whom I was well attracted."What are you doing here," Connor mumbled, "!" Connor withdrew his pen and drew an angry face on a piece of paper"YOU GOIN DOWN" He shouted, but he pronounced down like Daayouwun. It sounded pretty class. Then connor did a backflip into his ma, who punched him in the oesaphogus, but he was unphased. he did a triple arabesque backflip tuck roll which he turned into a falcon kick, which sent Connor's ma into the well. All the while, I was watching and feeling quite pleased with myself, as I'd farted. As the dust settled and connor approached his ma's final resting place, clearing his throat to say the speech he'd prepared, which was full of top gun quotes, irrelevant to the situation.As we approached the crater, and the theme music stopped playing, we saw that in fact, Connnor's mother had vanished.
Part 3
"NOOOOOOOO" I thought quite loudly.
Connor said what i was thinking so I kicked him in the nads.
As, by this point, the cheeseburger fiasco was forgotten, we decided to go and get some Pizzas, from Connor's kingdom, Dom and Mo's Pizza. At least I think it's called that. I'm not being funny but it tasted like what I would imagine connor's hands would taste like. So after we wolfed down some of the hand shaped pizzas attached to the end of connor's arms, we began to think. It was at this point Connor remarked that his hands were missing, and I realised that he had made a terrible mistake.
"FAR FAKS SACK" I shouted at him
"WHUT" I heard him fart as he said this.
"YOUVE LET THE WOULD-BE THIEF GET AWAY" I said, in a surprisingly normal accent.
"no chaaaaaaaaance" he said as if he was going down a long tunnel. Which he wasn't.
So anyway, by this point we'd figured out that Connor's ma was still alive, partially because we're really smart, and partially because she'd just landed from space and falcon punched connor in the head.
Connor stood up, got new hands, and socked his ma, right there, in the gullet. She stumbled back, matrix-style and then they started fighting again. Connor picked up a table and threw it full speed at his mum, which pinned her against a wall, knocking her unconscious. He sprinted towards her, ran the length of the table and began to punch her repeatedly. She came to and threw the table into the air, connor going with it. He hid on the back of the table as she sent a Hadouken fireball his way. The table shattered, giving Connor the upper hand, somehow. He plunged towards the ground, holding the proverbial X button. As he hit the ground, he punched it, which threw debris and his ma into the air. At this point I realised Connor couldn't fight worth a turd, so I walked over, got his ma in the groin, because we all know she has man bits, and she died. Just like that.
Suddenly all the windows shattered as we heard a shrill voice howl.
"MAAAAAATTTTHHHHEEEEWWWW!!!!"
We both fell to our knees as the sound was too high pitched, but we both realised then who was behind it all. Miss Boyd, in her Omega form, towered over the Folly and all of its citizens. We realised we had to save the Folly, or else the world would lose the majority of its population. So both of us did a really fast run into Parkhall, which, let's face it, nobody would really miss. Boydo swung a dig at Connor, to which Connor took offence, and that's not easy to make connor take a fence, I mean offence. Anyway, then he said his catch phrase, "EVERYBODY'S ANGRY", which to be honest I don't really get. Then he booted her right in the face with his fist, and she fell over, squashing a group of young mums.
THE END










Or is it?

Blarg

I read far too many books; I'm on about 3 a week, or 1 every 2 days or so. Really I should have a head that's 3 times the current size, and so crammed full of literacy knowledge that I'm reduced to a blubbering idiot that tries to eat the next book instead of read it.

So, yeah. I read a lot. I have a floor to ceiling bookcase that's fit to bursting, and I've stashed collections of books all round the house so I don't have to get rid of any. I read mostly all genres and will read anything that is placed infront of me, as long as it's in English. Here are some of my favourite authors;

Walter Moers. My mum brought me his first book (The 13 And A Half Lives Of Captain Blue Bear) when I was 10 thinking it was a kids book. She was half right. Walter Moers is a genius with his writing. His books are written to look like they're made for children when really you can't appreciate them enough untill your an adult. When I first read the book as a kid I thought it was alright. Nothing special. When I read it again when I was like 17, it was amazing. I couldn't understand what kind of drugs I must have been on before because this book was the greatest thing in the world.
He's released 2 more books, and believe me none of them are short; they're all in the 800 - 1200 page range, but none of them will compare to the first. It was the beginning, and it was great. I will never forget that book and I've read it about 5 times and still find myself amazed with it.

Raymond E. Feist. He is my favourite author. I got his first every book, Magician, when I was going to Egypt and although it was 800 pages long, I had it read on the million hour flight over there and I was in love. I've had people tell me it's not an overly amazing book, and those people currently residing in Hospital with brain damage. I set out on a quest when I read that book, and it was to introduce as many people to this author as I could. I've done okay so far and got a whole load hooked in school before I left. I have every single one of his books every written (There are like 30) and they take pride of place in the front of my bookcase.

James Clemens. Can't remember how I got his books, but they just arrived one day and the next thing I knew I had everything he'd published. Funny story actually. A few months ago I read this amazing action/adventure/mystery book. It was awesome. The author was called James Rollins, and I went online and got all his other stuff. It was only a few weeks ago that I went onto Wiki to see what else he might have written that I missed and I found out that him and James Clemens are one and the same. Rollins is just a pen name for Clemens, which in turn is a pen name for Jim Czajkowski. The actual authors name. Not only does the guy have an awesome name, he's also a vet. A vet that is a better author than most of the people I've ever read. That's skill.

There are plenty of other authors that I love (Philip Kerr, Trudi Canavan, Frank Herbert, Stephen King) but none of them compare to those guys. They are true kings.